Found it!

So I have found my wedding dress it is in the pic to the side...I'M WAY excited about this I only hope that while walking down the isle it doesn't look like....here comes the bride all fat and wide! YIKES! I went and ordered it last week with my mother. I also made a few changes to it like a longer train and maybe getting the beading to be black MAYBE I will have to see what it looks like. So they said it should be here in like 4 months then I can try it on and see how it looks. But I'm excited non the less. So now about the only thing that I have left to get are a few things here and there oh and tuxes...Those I need to get too. And figure out what time the ceremony will be and pick out the cake and...well I guess there are a few more things that I need to get going......

Sundays

I love SUNDAYS!!!! They are the best day out of the whole week. The waking up when you want, breakfast (Its really the only day I eat breakfast) the relaxing, and doing whatever you want. Today my parents text me at like 10 asked us to go to breakfast. Then Chris and I went up the canyon for a drive. It was WONDERFUL!!! so pretty up there.. It made me start thinking of places to get my bridals taken. Still haven't picked a place yet but it did get me thinking. Yesterday we meaning Marie, Desi and I went to the bridal show they had at the Union Station. It was fun but I feel like such a bad friend. I hate my friends boyfriend I don't know what it is about him....well that isn't entirely true I do know what I don't like about him. But I guess it really shouldn't bother me since I'm not the one dating him. I just think he is such an asshole. But because I dislike him so much when ever she talks about marrying him I get sick to my stomach and totally on edge. I wish I could get past it cause I feel like such a bad friend. I would like to be happy for her when and "IF" and that is a big "IF" he purposes....But so far I'm still hoping he goes away and someone better for her comes along. I need to get into a better mind frame with that...and quite letting it bother me so much. I say mean things to her that don't need to be said I should just keep them to myself. This is something I need to work on. Maybe I should make it a new years resolution.

Work

Have you ever had a job where you know a lot more than some of the other people in the office and what you know only makes you mad. Where others get more benefits and privileges than others but still cant seem to follow simple rules that everyone else follow. I feel like a kid again at the play ground where no one will share there toys even though I do. How do I stop feeling resentment and anger. I hate when I get here and see them get advantage after advantage and perk after perk...I want to scream. But I don't I just sit her angry and jealous and irritated not wanting to talk to them and thinking about getting a different job where things are more fair. But are they really more fair somewhere else? Or are they the same and at every job someone feel slighted or someone feels left out? I guess I'm having a pity party for me. But still it really gets under my skin to think that everyone here does almost the same job, that everyone here works just as hard as the next person. But still there are some people out there getting more than others. GRRRRRRR!!!!! OK that made me feel a little better to get it out there.

3 a.m.

WTF so I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. and for the life of me could not go back to sleep. I tried to but I tossed and turned, then watched a little t.v.. But nothing....So I got on facebook looked online for a bit and then got ready for work. I was here earlier than most of the other guys. Each one kept saying "Your here early!" Yeah I know thanks for the late breaking news....I guess I'm not much of a morning person. Yesterday I called and talked with my mom. I'm starting to get a little annoyed with her. I know that this may come off as me being very shallow and selfish but oh well. So I am the oldest out of 5 kids, I am also the ONLY one that doesn't have any kids of their own. And this is where my problem lies....My good hearted mother is constantly watching kids, taking kids to practice, picking them up from stuff, getting kids from school. And her nights are filled with watching kids too. So that last couple of times that I have asked my mom to either do something with me or go somewhere with me she has said "Oh I cant I have the kids." Uhmmm I'm sorry I thought that you had raised your kids already. I find fault in not just my siblings but also in my mother for thinking that its her duty to watch kids ALL THE TIME!!!!!! So yesterday when I called and asked her to go with me to a dress shop and she said the old standby about kid watching I started to get angry. I mean really is it too much to ask for her to go with me? Or to tell one of my sisters or my brother "Hey find a f-ing babysitter like I did with you kids." I don't think so but maybe I am wrong. I have been told many times by different people that I just don't or wont get it till have kids (which I never plan on doing) but when did having kids all of the sudden entitle you to free child care and being down right rude............Maybe I am still just tired but this whole thing is making me mad!

So I went and tried on wedding dress today...BARF is all I can say...it was soo gross all of my hanging fat. But at least it gave me an idea of what size I am...which is the LARGEST and how things look on me. I wont be able to wear the super cute ones that I liked cause it will show every crevice on my body...I don't think that will make for a pretty bride. I mostly just want to get my arms in shape...I'm thinking about either going strapless or at least sleeveless...But God after the horror show tonight maybe I will just wear a potato sack and call it good. It was a little depressing not to mention the deodorant that I wear has NO aluminum in it...(We have a long line of breast cancer in our family and I read somewhere that the aluminum in deodorant and breast cancer have been linked I thought why take any chances) Only problem is that because it has NO aluminum in it I can sweat so then after a day at work I start to smell a little ripe under there...maybe I should have brought some from home...I was a little embarrassed, I could smell my under arms and I was just hoping that they couldn't. I have a pretty sensitive nose I smell things that most people cant or don't....its so good that one day the guy that did our rugs came in I asked him where he had been cause he smelled like doughnuts....He had been at the hole it was his delivery before ours. The hole is a doughnut/restaurant shop. Pretty good!! I know...Any way I'm hoping that the poor woman that helped me couldn't smell my non aluminum doesn't work as well but wont give me cancer lack of deodorant....

Well today was suppose to be a day of getting laundry done, kitchen clean, putting up decorations for Valentines day, and rest. Well everything got done BUT the laundry....I managed to get my sheets clean and put in some jeans for work tomorrow but that was about it. Chris and I woke up and started to get things clean from the party the night before. We had some friends over to watch the game. It was fun and we played cards after. I'm really not very fond of card...and I'm sure that is the reason that I was out first. I love having people over but the mess after words sucks. So we got the dishes clean and then mom called she wanted to go to Peach city for a burger...which was perfect timing cause Chris was just asking me if I had thought about what I wanted for lunch...We got on the freeway only to have my sister call and tell me they were closed so we went to Denny's instead. Not really a very good trade for Peach city but oh well. After we went to my sisters house and hung out. This whole football thing is really getting on my nerves. Chris is constantly listening to the game, watching the game, trying to find the score of the game on his phone....GOD it gets soo old. HELLO THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK that is out. I just get sick of planning my day around when and what time a game is on. If we go to dinner then he is rushing me out the door so he can find the nearest t.v. Or if we go to my sisters house we have to wait till the end of the game so he can see what happens. Never mind I just wanted to visit and I have a mountain of laundry down stairs to do. But lets make sure that we watch the football game and shout at the t.v. So annoying. But it was nice to see my sister and I got online and looked at some wedding stuff....OOOOO and the biggest news is I'M SOOO EXCITED!!!! My parents said that they would pay for ALL of the wedding at the Tuscany. My parents have always been savers and they only give each kid so much for a wedding (not to mention they only do it once) So when we went to the Tuscany my mother had told me that they would be giving me around 4 thousand for my wedding. Well Tuscany is more than that a little over a grand more than that. But I wanted it to be there so I told my mom that is fine Chris and I can pay for the rest ourselves...Well she talked to my dad and my dad said he would pay for all of it. I was so happy and excited, we put a deposit down on the place and the date is now set in STONE 10-10-10 is going to be my wedding date!

Getting things done......

I am so proud of myself. I have been getting a lot done this week. I have bought the cake serving set and had it engraved AND it was all under 15 bucks with shipping. I have gotten a lot of peoples address's that I need. Then tomorrow my mom and I are going to go put a deposit down on the Tuscany for 10-10-10. I'm so excited. I also won a photographer for my wedding and bridals, they do an amazing job so I'm super stoked about that too. I just need to find a dress and get Chris and my dad a tux. Chris said that his dad wont wear one and I don't mind. I don't want his dad to be uncomfortable not to mention then its cheaper for me!!! If I can get all of this done then the only thing that I have to worry about it getting it paid for. I wish I could find a dress that I liked. But I don't want to buy one now I am determined to loose some weight before my wedding. Well I'm sure that the pizza I just chowed down isn't really a good start but one day at a time I guess. I went to my mom house yesterday and my sister Shay told me that my other sister Cristy had said...You know that the rest of this year all we are going to hear about is "Sara's Wedding" I started to laugh. And of coarse decided that I wanted to torment her. (Hey I'm the oldest we do it so well) So I called her and asked her if she was busy. She said No so I asked her if she wanted to talk about my wedding. There was a long pause and then she said NO I DON'T!! I started laughing. So now that is the new joke....talking about my wedding!!hahaha she should have kept her mouth shut....hehehehe. But she does have a point I'm getting really excited about this day so I'm sure I will talk about it a lot. OOH and I also found a guest book so cute and pen to match for a pretty cheap deal. I will have to wait till the next paycheck to get it though. Chris and I have been getting along really well too. It has been so nice, I hate it when we argue it makes me feel bad. And I don't mean just bad like oh I shouldn't be so mean. I start to doubt that we will make it for the next 60 years. But I have started to watch other people and how they are with each other. And it makes our relationship seem very normal. I wonder sometimes that her in mo ville that they want you to get married so soon is because your young naive and don't have a clue about what its really like out in the real world. And getting married later in your life you know that it may not work. That you bug him just as much as he bugs you...OK sometimes. But in the end I feel really good about being with Chris. He is a good man and he tries his hardest to make me happy. I miss him when he is gone, I love it when he comes home, I LOVE it when I make him laugh really hard, I like the way that he looks at me after I have gotten all dressed up to go somewhere and he tells me I'm beautiful. I love that when he comes home late at night he still comes in rubs my back for a min. Tells me he is home and gives me a Kiss on the cheek. I'm ready to live our happy ever after!

I think I found it.....

I finally think that I found it...the place to have my wedding at the Tuscany. And just now Chris text me back and said he thinks its too expensive. So maybe I haven't found it quite yet!!! grrrrrr! Now I'm irritated, not so much at him but OMG in mo-ville its hard to find a place that is open or will open on Sunday, so maybe the search will still continue. I know he would let me have it where ever I wanted but I would like some support. My mother I know thinks its too expensive also. But she would also like me to do a cheap wedding sometime in the summer (I want a fall wedding) at a church (I don't even go to church).....OK I will maybe have to do some hard thinking....Oh well, If anyone has any advise on where to get married that is priced reasonably, is open on Sundays, and is around the Ogden area please let me know.....GRRRRRR!!